just needed a one night stand

JUST NEEDED A 1 NIGHT STAND!

 

I just needed a one night stand, but cant understand y I never got it.

Its after job, headed for 1, 2 tembos baada ya kazi,

Looks like I got ten men`s energy,  light headed, horny

And thinking to myself – ‘just need a one night stand.’

Hacker, “what! A one night stand? Tee, umechizi nini?

U can not have a one night stand cuz ya wifey is heavily pregnant!

Sort out issues with her! Nkt!^”

Am thinking : what the hell! Mind ya own biz nigga!

            Still  I gotta have my one night stand!.

 

I spot Salome, choir leader from church.

What she doin in a pub?

Did she come to check on her husband, boyfriend, – NO!

Did she come to check if this is where the Passy squanders all Sabbaths offing? No!

Y is she then here?

Then I notice the man she id with, a tycoon, a real goon,

 Mr. money bags, yeah money man.

And am thinking, she is no longer married to Jesus as she claims,

What a material girl.

Natupa macho hapa kule but me no see a chick  I can get jiggy with.

Damn, I neeed a one night stand.

Get sick of hanging around,

Me a get up, on my way out, I bump into Mary anne .

Maryanne is crackers ex, I got no issues to brew 2nite with her.

But Maryanne wants me, she is pressing closer, making me think damn!

I got my one night stand, then I see it in her eyes,

She just doesn`t need a one night stand, she needs me,

Gives no fuck! Fact that am married.

Yet Maryjane (wifey) is her best friend..

So I duck, am headed down town.

 

Who do I see at the parkin bay? Marylyn.

Now if u refresh ya memory, she was my first love.

Then we were young, toddlers in love.

May be I had a crush on her, a huge one indeed.

Can`t understand y we never together,

All I know I loved her mo, she loved the world, never loved me.

Marylyn could give it to me, she know how to pop! Lock! N drop it!

Problem is, she is flirting to much with 1, 2, 3 many guys by the parkin bay.

Am thinking, fuck! At this rate, can’t get a one night stand.

Gotta act, quick!.

 

Then am at chillers,

All fellas are chillin, killlin it.

Am like yeah baby! Mmm! Mh! I got it.

I signal tha waiter,

Bevy of women across the table at the corner get two rounds of drinkis.

Winks are shown my way, my groins start throbbing.

I signal to them- come over!

Em girls are all over my table, telling me how a king I am

Laughing at my nin-com-poop jokes,

Am feeling like yeahhh, groupie love!

After I pay em bills- huge bills

Em girls be like: “geeez! Thanks dude. We had a relly goot time.

Oops! We gotta go.”

Am like, “where to? I can take u to my place, we can rent a room

Whatever u  like. Come onn.”

“but no dude, we got exams tomorrow.”

B4 I could stop em, b4 I could say sth to make em get grooving with me,

Em were already gone, swinging em hips like nicki minaj, GONE!

CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

How comes I cant get a one night stand?

Am walking debating with myself angry for letting em babes go……….

Am gate crashing a party, how comes sikukaziwa kuingia? I don curse.

So I decide to throw my hook up-sorry-pick up lines.

Yeah tuday ni kuchips funga!

Then I notice old ladies, old dudes, pple big enough to be my parents, all well dressed.

Music aint loud, I look outta place_- it’s a fund raising.

DOUBLE CRAP! Ol’ pussy? No way!

Am outta di place.\

Just opposite tha street, another bash is going on.

The music is loud, yeah.

Am seeing drunk lasses and lads,

Am saying-this is it!

Wait till I get inside, em call it leavers bash-prom whatever u call it.

Em kids look late teens, early twenties, cant tell.

All I know em be young, way too young to groove with a married man.

Am saying- story za wakidi wa chuo, tia ziiii!!!

 

By now am fed up, am angry, mad, berserk .

I reach out to a ho’ we negotiating well, liking it!

She got thighs! High thighs! Am already fantasizing how am a bump against em- yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

At least 2nite, I was getting a one night stand.

My glory was short lived.

B4 I even signaled a taxi, b4 I even tapped that ass,

b4 my fantasies got to climaxing levels

woop! Oop! Sound of da police.

Em whores b operatinf on forbidden street.

They scattered helter-skelter.

I had to seek refuge, but looking at my watch,

It was 4’oclock in tha morning.

 

Tired, exhausted, feeling all a fool, am headed home.

After slippin inside the sheets,

Wifey wraps her arms all round me

She`s making me feel wanted, she’s giving me her warm heart to lean on……..

But am thinking, “I just needed a  one night stand,

just cant understand y I never got it!”

getting in touch with nature

This gallery contains 191 photos.

how to recruit the right person for the job.

 

Put about a 100 bricks in  a particular order in a closed room with and open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after six hours and then analyze the situation.

 

If they are countinf the bricks, put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them, put them in auditing,

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in engeneering,

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in planning.

 If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in operations.

If they are sleeping, put them in security.

If they have the bricks into pieces, put them in information technology.

If they are sitting idle, put them in human resources.

If they said they have tried different combinations, yet not a single brick has been moved, put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day, put them in marketing,

If they are staring out of the window, put them in strategic planning,

And the last but not least, if they are talking to each other and not a single brick ahs been moved, congratulate them and put them in top management

watatu gallery art exhibition, a flop or gain?

for the fellas who missed the gallery watatu art exhibition, here`s some of the photos covering the events that took place on 30th june 2012.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

.

afterwards, i wrote a long letter and emailed it to the M.D, Osei G. Kofi, giving him a piece of mind and i believe i was speaking on behalf of the masses.

here is the e-mail:

high once again Mr.Osei,

I was at the village market on saturday 30th june and from what i saw, took a few notes down and decided to right e-mail you this long letter.
In marketing of the ongoing exhibition and watatu gallery as a whole, i do believe there were some marketing principles you may have overlooked while promoting art work.
first of all, in understanding the place of art in Kenyans hearts, have a clean look at the education system. In 2001, the arts and crafts(homescience, agriculture,business studies, music etc,) were vital discipllines that were abolished by the curriculum regulator. these are disciplines that are essential in promoting the well being of the child in growing up. Now come to higher learnig, how many students pursue arts by choice? most of them are forced into the arts espeecially the dtudents selected by the (JAB) Joint Admission Board after failling to meet the cluster points set by the board.

Now if Kenyans are made to believe that these subjects got little value in their lives, how do you as an art company and body deal with such an issue?
currently the euro crisis has resulted in the price of kenyan coffe exported to the european market go down compared with the same first quater last year. Countries like Ethiopia and Brazil where they consume more than half of the coffee produced are little affected by global coffee demand as they already haave a ready local market that serves as a security fo the industry. Thus the coffee board of kenya has licensed millers to grade coffee and launced a campaign to foster more and more kenyans to consume coffee. Remember, coffee is the second most traded commodity in the world after oil.

What lessons do we leearn from this?
We got a calling and responsibility to make kenyans appreciate art from a new dimension. after which demand for local art starts to scale with renewed energy and thus a source of income for the artists as we spread inspiration through art.
Considering the four Ps of marketing,

• product
  place,
  price
  promotion
  people.

lets beat about the company`s logo-SIMPLY THE BEST IN AFRICA. Right? How is it going to be the best art gallery and yet simple? mmm? In simplicity lies a great complexity, dont you think so? An art exhibition that is a week long need special packaging. There’s need to fill the event with activities that say who you are as a brand name.You want to sell art? make sure you convince people to buy it. BUT HOW?

• the place. the location should have been a more family friendly and condusive for more kenyans like the bomas of kenya, splash waterworld etc. this gives the whole exhibition a new ambience and with enough creativity put into place, real investment opportunities for the stakeholders. On saturday, i noticed there were no artist present to interact with their admirers. this would give it mo meaning as people not get the opporunity to only get in touch with artwork, but also to mingle and interact with the voices behind the inspiring master piece, considering you don the creme dela creme of artists like wanyu brush, richard onyango, and the rest.

• also try some time to dorn street exhibition. It,s all about doing things differently in style.

• try to incorporate other forms of art like photography, graffiti, especially graffiti and graphic artists into your distinguished gallery, its just…….

• activities packaged for kids and teens should be put into place like face painting, drawing of sketches, drawing and painting competitions using different media, modelling with clay, plasticine etc This makes kids want to be associated with art, watatu gallery and the rest is history, Banking on the future generation.

• More so there should be small talk or open forums about art, artifacts etc, to educate the masses. your site -gallerrywatatu.com should have a blog for forums about art, design etc. this serves as a platform for knowledge sharing and learning.

• the work watatu gallery has done on the diary is 5star rating, more shouold be done on post cards, greating cards, calenders etc, to promote your presence to the masses.

• and , what is an exhibition without music? celebrated, up and coming artists should grace the occassion to keep art ringing in peoples minds. afro-fusion artists like eric wainaina, just a band, fenamenal, sauti sol, mejja, suzzane owiyo, dela, calabash band and the rest should keep people entertained. ITS ALL ABOUT ART, RIGHT? HOW ARTISTIC IS YOUR EXHIBITION?

• lastly, its the plea of people that art galleries like yours should be visiting schools, colleges etc. try to borrow an idea or two from WAPI, KWANI, PICHA MTAAANI etc.

THIS GIVES PEOPLE A BILLION REASONS TO BELIEVE IN AFRICA. OYEEEH AFRICA, OYEEEH MY MAMA LAND.

BUSTED. best edition.

 To you she is gone, 
but to me she is still at heart.
To you I was a player 
but to me it was just plain flirting- no pun intendend.
In your eyes I was discrete, cunning, foxy, dishonest
to me i was being frank, displaying evidence, but she never noticed.
To you she may have reacted like a bitch,
but I take it as ultimate shock
shock fed by false accusations, misconception
shock that resulted out of hallucinated imagery, foolhardy wisdom
but I will feed her with the absolute truth.

In your eyes I was a gold digger,
but I she was the one gold digging.
You think I never gave her attention,
but I gave her my profound time 
she just never appreciated it, make out the best of it.
The rumours are that I never listened to her pleas 
but I can’t remember putting on earplugs while she talked.
So you think I was never supportive? 
I pushed her, she never proved herself right.
You say I never gave her a piece of mind, 
but she was xploring my mind, trying to set it to a rhythm
a rythm that beat with the beat of her heartbeat

In your eyes she is dead and gone to me
in me she is present, part of me, a piece of me.

You all lament in disgust that I wasted my time
she wasted her time, we wasted our time together
I say, we spent the time, enjoyed each other’s company
exceeding to arguments- that`s why we argued for long.

you never know what u got till its gone,
 I know what I got cause it`s not gone.

still, can’t forget that moment sitted by the park
under the foliage of trees, down by the riverside
when Mary-Jane stumbled upon me

having kush and kush moments,

when she found out herself the truth
when she started believing the rumours, murmurs, hummings,buzz, the whispers.

Martin Luther king Jr. – "I HAVE A DREAM."

“-I Have a Dream
Martin Luther King Jr.    August 28, 1963  
I say to you today, my friends,
even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow,
I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American Dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident; thal all men are created equal”.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, 
a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, 
will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation
where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day down in Alabama with its vicious racists,
with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and little white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, 
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made plains, 
and the crooked places will be made straight,
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all the flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with.
With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope.
With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation
into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.
With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together,
to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with new meaning,
“My country ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my father died, land of pilgrims’ pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring”.
And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. 
So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. 
Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.
Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!
Let freedom ring from the curvacious slopes of California!
But not only that; 
let freedom ring from the Stone Mountain of Georgia!
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.
Let freedom ring from every hill and mole hill of Mississippi.
From every mountainside, let freedom ring, and when this happens,

When we let freedom ring, 
when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, 
from every state and every city, 
we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, 
black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics,
will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, 
“Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, we are free at last”!””””””””””””””””


 Imagine cramming the American dream? well to tell u the truth, i had to cram it back in high school.
Our English teacher in form one back then Mr. Osoro(mapepa)  sure that we(I) crammmed it for our own good. This were some of the few inspiring teachers i remember to this day.


                         ” a mediocre teacher TELLS
                           a good teacher EXPLAINS
                          a great teacher DEMONSTRATES
                         but a superior teacher INSPIRES.”


  Well there is much to learn from martin luther’s dream but all am trying to pinpoint here is the art of incentives. Humans in nature need various kinds of incentives to perfom. 
As much as what we are going to do has positive effects in our lifes, sometimes we never see the urge to get serious with things cuz u got freedom to do it or not- only difference is that we are abusing our freedom by not doing that which we feel we ought to do but we don’t do it. 
Enough with the hullaballoo, this teacher promised us a 100/= then if u could recite the whole dream without reference.  You can imagine way back then in 2005 what a form one could do with a mere 100/=. mandazi, loaf and more mandazi. 
So it worked out that i won the whole 100/= and an additional one cuz am the only student who tried voluntary to memorize the whole speech in front of the class without being asked to. the other students were wetting their trousers trying to memorise a simple speech like this-though i have fofgotten  it a little bit. 
Imagine if our systems were like this, if only people were motivated to do what they do best?


Then i came to understand that inspiration and perspiration are different. 
INSPIRATION should be the pivot, the driver, the motivator, the enhancer 
the force that makes you moonlight to dead of night
the force that deprives you off all sleep
the force that gets you thinking, dreaming, visionalizing
the cooling effect of the fun when u sweat, 
the sweet sweat that comes out of perspiration
cuz man sinned at the garden of eden, he was cursed by God
and so to rip benefits of our work- we have to really perspire.

she let the party

did she leave the party cuz she was drunk
  or was just never in mood to party?
did she leave the party when he hit on her
  or did she have a bitch fight?
did she leave the bash cuz the DJ was unill
  or its cuz she cant wiggle, and get down every time the beat drops?
did she fail to drop it like its hot
  or cuz her love dance is like whoa-that got into her head?
did she leave cuz he spanked her
  or did she leave cuz she tripped tryna break dance on her high heels?
did she leave tha party cuz she kissed a gyal and she liked it
  or is it plain madness that got the better of her?
did she leave cuz i drank one two many
  or i was just being point blank, fallin in love with froth- beer froth?
did she leave the club cuz it was getting too stuffy
  or is it cuz it was getting late?
did she stumble upon her ex, a ghost
  or is it’s cuz she stumbled upon a ‘sausage funga’ that she left?

she says i flirted too much, she says i never cared.
she says i wasn’t listening to her,
she says i slapped her-it demoralized her,depressed her, disgusted her.
she says she tried to harmer some sense into my conscious
but i never sensed the senses.
she says i mocked her, provoked her wits, invoked her adrenaline to unbearable levels.
she says i tore her dress,
 she says i tried to force myself into her- she says it was a public disgrace.

am trynna remember, tryn to recall y she left the bash
y she left without me, y she cried all night
y she is cryn even now,
then it hits me.
The feeling is irreconcilable with the dictates of nature
the feeling is hollow, wallowing, hooting in my brain, body and soul
the feelin is thirsting my quench, twisting, twirling,irritating,  hurricaning, gull bitter.

never should i have strolled away from her,
if i knew, i would have listened to her
wish i never gave in to Marry-anne
wish i had resisted my urges-primitive urges
wish i can erase the scene when Mary-Jane bumped on us
busy makin out in the car park
and she thought Mary-anne was her BEST FRIEND.

TULIA MWANANGU, KUWA MPOLE.

So i wonder, after sayin
“tulia mwanagu, kuwa mpole,”
dont ya feel like,”relax hommy, cool down”?
‘prolong ya syllables.’

so am completely lost in kush and kush moments
today am with Hacker, so i tell him of ths hacker,
this hacker that hacke into haka kakomputer,
this hacker that is today a walker,
this hacker that turned out to be an alco-worker
this hacker who refuses to be hacked
this hacker who never cracks when cracked
this hacker who can hacker crack and hawk a cracker or cracker
this hacker that cracked the cracker crackin a hacker who was hackin a cracker
this hacker that ……………..
then hacker says it
“tulia mwanangu, kuwa mpole.”

then i explore the metaphore
“tulia mwanangu, kuwa mpole,”
and am feeling like,
“relax hommy, cooool down.”

then enters cracker,
cracks me with this joke
am crackin my ribs,laughing,
am loosin tears, cryin,
am trynna talk but am talkin laughing
am crackin crackle’s vibe…………….
cracker pricks nose, looks at mucus for eternity
“techratic! am hungry!#^*”
am thinking: Fuck! so????????????
cracker is crackn like crazy,
cracker is crackles, about knuckles, shackles,pimples, riddles
cracker is crackin nuts bout feminity, masculinity,pussy, mathaphakin s#*!
cracker is animating the imagination of hallucinations in euphoria
cracker is crackin about hacker, bout THC………………..

We notice hacker, hackerin around.
hacker notices us going THC from – to + infinity
then hacker is lamenting, chanting, humming, murmuring
“tulia mwanagu, kuwa mpole”
Techratic is wonderin, who is relaxin which hommy and who is cooling who down?

A LAZY NAIROBI.

I light up my kush and gaze at Nairobi.

A lazy Nairobi evening
under this mogumo tree do i stare at nairobi.
i gaze at the snaky traffic jam
the distinct sound of children playing
the occasional stork, crane, pigeons and doves alike
i wonder in awe\
i gaze at the majestic splendor that is bestowed within women
the jingle of an ice cream van
the yellow-melllow-orange shine of the evening sun;
reflected from Nairobi’s scryscrappers
The wind blows,
the sun sets
and streets are flooded with lights.

A lazy Nairobi night
i  light up me kush and gaze at Nairobi.
flickering stars, twinkling galaxies
ans a blurring site that’s nairobi’s concrete jungle.
family cars, matatus and buses wont fail to hoot
and  the owl won’t fail to hoot 2
A scream here
      and you know muggers are on the loose
A scream there
     fuck! lasses and lads making out under the tree. F.U.C.K.I.N.G.
A scream there also
     drunks are cursing and praising the world that is the quench of their thirst
And screams there
     CRASH! fatal accident.
dead silence, grave silence.
crickets cricketing, wind whistling
now the park is whistling thorns
the moon’s radiance illuminates
a lazy nairobi dead night
but i glance at neon lights and wonder……..

A lazy Nairobi dawning
I light up my kush and gaze at Nairobi
the dead nairobi homes are lazily lighting up
school kids hurry up to school
early birds on the rise
labourers en route eleven to ‘hustle’ for their wages
while  the so paid have to wait for their salaries.
traders are piling up!
sun is already hot if not warm.

a lazy Nairobi noon
I light up my kush and stare at Nairobi.
the sun is directly overhead! am STONED.
i feel this hunger pains
when i see restaurants fool
when i see picnic snacks by the park
when i see soda and cake vendors
when i miss my mama’s packed lunch.
the noise of a lazy but busy Nairobi
the air pollution from exhaust
the dust blowin in ya face= makes u sick!
with a lazy nairobi afternoon.

I light up my kush,
And gaze into a lazy nairobi afternoon.

Advice to Kenyan Campus Students

i don know if this advise works for ya but am a try it out for the rest of my next two years in campo.
hope u get to enjoy the recipe…………………………

The A to Z of surviving in Kenyan campuses: A College Manual

Avoid the last minute rush. The I-work-best-under pressure is a myth. When it comes to studying, if you leave all studying to the night before the exam, you’re likely to fail. Okay, you may not get an E (which means you have to re-do the paper), but a C or D are likely grades.

mara io io. soma when u feel like. exams si za kukufanya usome. onekana mjinga but soma when u feel like cuz this is the time when ya mind absorbs shit in books like whoaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

Be yourself. Be true to your friends, because the friends you make in campus are the ones you will keep for life. If you can’t reveal your true self to your fellow comrades who do not judge, accept who for who you are and will hold a harambee to bail you out if you get into any sort of trouble, then I don’t know who else you can trust.
 
Cops. Cops and university students are not friends. Always maintain a 50m (or more) radius around a cop. Ask any student who has been in a strike. Or anyone coming back to campus at night and they encounter cops who ask for ID, and that is the one time you didn’t carry it. You could be arrested for loitering, drunk and disorderly etc.

hey u in a blue uniform, samehea me n i`ll reform……….. don wait to sing this song by  sauti sol take precaustions by walikin with ya ID photocopy.

Drinking.
Iibuchi: hey, Obeez where u been?
Obeez: ya wanna know? eh!<hic!> I’ve been studyin mututhology, am full of m-u-tu-tho-issm……
and i feeeel like mu-tu-tho-i-sss-tic.
YEAH. the full effects of tutho. If u cant drink and behave. then walk at a radious of 10 miles from the bottle.
if u value ya speech, then drink responsibly. who knows- by the time unamada kampo u’ll be full of madenti(bumps) landscaping ya body with every mark a bitter story to tell. think u ‘ll be ugly? see yaself in the mirror and stare at the beast that a-a-a- aaaa -a alcohol has made u be.;

 
Exams.wachanga risto za mwakenya cuz them will take ya nowhere indeed. picture this- a dude finishes campo, cant get a job leave alone getting self employed, y? all because he could not rely on his brain to do all right that is required. when u use mwakenya’s, u`ll pass but ya mind has already switched. no creativity is ringing in mind- so sad for u

Friends. They are the best thing that could ever happen to anyone on campus. If you find true ones, keep them. The ones you can buy drinks from when you’re loaded, and still borrow from when you’re broke. If you can’t borrow money from your friends, then they are not true friends.
God. Acknowledge His existence in your life. Don’t be too over-religious though and end up missing on the life.
Hustle. I’m not saying go into the streets and start walking around looking all desperate. If you want to, start a business. Write on the side. Do your poetry. Sing your heart out. Draw portraits. Make cards for sale. Register your own company and start making websites/projects. It’s a way of establishing yourself and making that extra cash. It will lift your self-esteem. If an opportunity comes along, take it.

make sure msikosane na pero{parent}. make sure beside ya hustlin, u kipin up with em books

Independence. Be your own person. Whatever you do, ask yourself why. And the answer should not be ‘because my friends are doing it.’
stop following the pack and lead ya own pack. don fall to the ideological thinikin of style and swagger if u can’t kip up with the pace. identify ya own identity that reflests ya interested and defines who u be.

Joke. Take time to smile at your blunders/failures. Life can be brutally short.

Knowledge. For what’s it’s worth, be good in at least one area of your field of study. Theoretically and practically, so even if your grades are not so good, you have something to show for your time in campus.
knowledge is power. y do u countries like india, china, brazil and the rest are emerging world economies? cause em know very well how knowledge is power. a populous nation with majority of citizens illiterate is a time bomb in the offing. look at the education system in the named countries and u’ll find more p’ll educated and jobless  but em not complaining. y? cause. their knowledge is what gon open ways fr em. true be that.

Luxuries.figure  a student who has all electronics possible but he didn’t even have bed sheets.? All am saying is, know your priorities.
Money. Spend wisely, do not lend to those who can’t pay back, do not borrow unless it’s absolutely necessary and you know you can pay back. Friendships have begun and ended because of money.
Neighbours. Be good to them, you’ll live next to them for a while and they are the ones who’ll raise an alarm if your crib is on fire/being robbed.
Over. When campus is over, it’s over. Do not linger around. As much as I miss campus already, I would not go back just to hand around. I know some people I used to see around campus who had already graduated, and they walked around doing nothing. They were not doing further studying or teaching or anything.
Play. Go out and get involved in campus games and sports. Go out in the evening and have fun. Dance the night away. At the beginning of the semester when you have all the free time, watch movies, series, play computer games. Go out all week if you can. There is always time to study in the middle of the semester and towards the end. ALL WORK WITH NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY.
uniQue. Be unique in at least one thing, style, fashion, neatness,uchizi, etc
Relationships. If you’re (un)lucky enough to get a stable girl/boyfriend who lasts more than two years, I’ll be happy to attend your wedding 2 or 3 years after graduation. If you’re single, have as much fun as possible. That’s my advice: if you’re in a relationship, stay in it. Do not cheat. If you’re not, be free to mingle. The possibilities are endless.IF U REALIZE U ARE GAY- kill YASELF DUDE. if u realise u r a lesbian-SCREAM FOR THE WORLD TO HEAR.see tatu’s case
Sex. Be safe. Get tested as often as possible. If you have not started having sex, then don’t be in a hurry to start. Because once you start, there is no stopping the crave aint gon stop . Use condoms all the time, because pills will not protect you from STIs/HIV. Being faithful to one partner should not be relied on, this is campus. Multiple partners are the norm though of course you may think yours is exclusive. If it is, good for you. Either way, just pass by the pharmacist and pick some CDs.
psss. sex as much as possible to avoid the risk of getting prostrate cancer.
Tobacco. Smoking of tobacco is harmful to your health. Okay, sometimes smokers look cool, but once you get hooked, it’s hard to quit. It’s easier to quit drinking than to quit smoking, so if you haven’t started smoking yet, do not start. If you’re already smoking, and you wanna quit, devise some sort of plan that will see you reduce your smoking by the time you’re done with campus. That will be the icing on the cake of your graduation.
Utter selflessness. That’s the only way to feel alive. Share with the less fortunate. Donate your time (and money) to charity. Join Rotaract Club, Red Cross, Environmental club or any other society where you can give back to society.
Vegetation. And the environment in general. Thou shall care for your environment, do not litter unnecessarily and if you’re passionate enough, join the environmental club and plant some trees.LEAVE THE TREES AND LET THEM BEEEE…. DON U SEE U DESTROYIN THE ENVIRONMENT OH NO!
Weed. So you’ve arrived in campus and want to experiment with some marijuana. Be my guest. But please, do not become a regular user. Once in a while, like end-of-semester bashes, you may smoke some. Do not let it become a daily thing. Weed kills brain cells, which do not regenerate. Plus it’s illegal.

<pss. if u doin a science  oriented course, then some weed will be good for ya brain cells just to cool down the nerves after all the nerd thinkin u got>

X for X-rated stuff (porn). I’d advice you not to watch it, lest you get addicted and it gets in the way of your social life.remember the story of kirk flanklin?
You. You’re your own master. You’re in charge of your ambition, desires, goals, limitations. Of course, with guidance from your creator.
Zeal. The Bible says in Ecc 9:10, “Whatsover your hands find to do, do it with all your might. For there is no knowledge, no wisdom, no action, no thought, in the world of the dead where you are headed.”

special thanks to : savvykenya