just needed a one night stand

JUST NEEDED A 1 NIGHT STAND!

 

I just needed a one night stand, but cant understand y I never got it.

Its after job, headed for 1, 2 tembos baada ya kazi,

Looks like I got ten men`s energy,  light headed, horny

And thinking to myself – ‘just need a one night stand.’

Hacker, “what! A one night stand? Tee, umechizi nini?

U can not have a one night stand cuz ya wifey is heavily pregnant!

Sort out issues with her! Nkt!^”

Am thinking : what the hell! Mind ya own biz nigga!

            Still  I gotta have my one night stand!.

 

I spot Salome, choir leader from church.

What she doin in a pub?

Did she come to check on her husband, boyfriend, – NO!

Did she come to check if this is where the Passy squanders all Sabbaths offing? No!

Y is she then here?

Then I notice the man she id with, a tycoon, a real goon,

 Mr. money bags, yeah money man.

And am thinking, she is no longer married to Jesus as she claims,

What a material girl.

Natupa macho hapa kule but me no see a chick  I can get jiggy with.

Damn, I neeed a one night stand.

Get sick of hanging around,

Me a get up, on my way out, I bump into Mary anne .

Maryanne is crackers ex, I got no issues to brew 2nite with her.

But Maryanne wants me, she is pressing closer, making me think damn!

I got my one night stand, then I see it in her eyes,

She just doesn`t need a one night stand, she needs me,

Gives no fuck! Fact that am married.

Yet Maryjane (wifey) is her best friend..

So I duck, am headed down town.

 

Who do I see at the parkin bay? Marylyn.

Now if u refresh ya memory, she was my first love.

Then we were young, toddlers in love.

May be I had a crush on her, a huge one indeed.

Can`t understand y we never together,

All I know I loved her mo, she loved the world, never loved me.

Marylyn could give it to me, she know how to pop! Lock! N drop it!

Problem is, she is flirting to much with 1, 2, 3 many guys by the parkin bay.

Am thinking, fuck! At this rate, can’t get a one night stand.

Gotta act, quick!.

 

Then am at chillers,

All fellas are chillin, killlin it.

Am like yeah baby! Mmm! Mh! I got it.

I signal tha waiter,

Bevy of women across the table at the corner get two rounds of drinkis.

Winks are shown my way, my groins start throbbing.

I signal to them- come over!

Em girls are all over my table, telling me how a king I am

Laughing at my nin-com-poop jokes,

Am feeling like yeahhh, groupie love!

After I pay em bills- huge bills

Em girls be like: “geeez! Thanks dude. We had a relly goot time.

Oops! We gotta go.”

Am like, “where to? I can take u to my place, we can rent a room

Whatever u  like. Come onn.”

“but no dude, we got exams tomorrow.”

B4 I could stop em, b4 I could say sth to make em get grooving with me,

Em were already gone, swinging em hips like nicki minaj, GONE!

CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

How comes I cant get a one night stand?

Am walking debating with myself angry for letting em babes go……….

Am gate crashing a party, how comes sikukaziwa kuingia? I don curse.

So I decide to throw my hook up-sorry-pick up lines.

Yeah tuday ni kuchips funga!

Then I notice old ladies, old dudes, pple big enough to be my parents, all well dressed.

Music aint loud, I look outta place_- it’s a fund raising.

DOUBLE CRAP! Ol’ pussy? No way!

Am outta di place.\

Just opposite tha street, another bash is going on.

The music is loud, yeah.

Am seeing drunk lasses and lads,

Am saying-this is it!

Wait till I get inside, em call it leavers bash-prom whatever u call it.

Em kids look late teens, early twenties, cant tell.

All I know em be young, way too young to groove with a married man.

Am saying- story za wakidi wa chuo, tia ziiii!!!

 

By now am fed up, am angry, mad, berserk .

I reach out to a ho’ we negotiating well, liking it!

She got thighs! High thighs! Am already fantasizing how am a bump against em- yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

At least 2nite, I was getting a one night stand.

My glory was short lived.

B4 I even signaled a taxi, b4 I even tapped that ass,

b4 my fantasies got to climaxing levels

woop! Oop! Sound of da police.

Em whores b operatinf on forbidden street.

They scattered helter-skelter.

I had to seek refuge, but looking at my watch,

It was 4’oclock in tha morning.

 

Tired, exhausted, feeling all a fool, am headed home.

After slippin inside the sheets,

Wifey wraps her arms all round me

She`s making me feel wanted, she’s giving me her warm heart to lean on……..

But am thinking, “I just needed a  one night stand,

just cant understand y I never got it!”